Fearsome Past
by littlemisscullen2311
Summary: A dark past haunts her and keeps her from falling for anyone until she meets what could be the perfect guy. Will he heal her wounds and open the doors to her heart once again. This is my first fanfic I hope you like. Rated M for later chapters.
1. The Flashback

Fearsome Past

Chapter 1 The Flashback

These violents delights have violent ends.  
>And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,<br>Which, as they kiss, consume.

~Romeo and Juliet, ACT ||, scene V|~

Disclimer I don't own twilight or any on the characters used except Avril Cullen. This story isn't beta'd but if you would like to help me out you can send me a message or write on the reviews. Sorry is this is a little short but im thinking about leaving you guys at a cliffie ^_^.

FLASHBACK I walked into the hotel room, half drunk and with a terrible punding in my head.

"Jake, we should of never gone to that party." My voice a mere wisper. I cringe as a hear him slam the door shut, the sound echoing in my ears. I try to pay attention to the peach colored walls but everything spins and i sway lightly from side to side. I shiver as I feel jacobs hot breath on my neck. It smells like alchohol and smoke. Jake snakes his hands around my waist, pulling my back against him front side.

"But baby, we had a great time and plus it was my brothers birthday." He wispers in my ear, his tongue darts out and licks the skin of my shoulder. A violent sudder goes trough my body and my brain snapps into place as I feel his hands start to undo the botton on my jean shorts. I push myself off him and turn to face him.

"Jake you know that im not ready for, _**THAT**_, yet. Please lets just sleep and we can go home tomorrow in the morning. I can sleep on the couch if you want." Jake sighs in frustration steps towards me. I take a step back.

"Bella, you've been saying that for the past two years, **TWO YEARS**!" anger clearly shown in his midnight black eyes. A scary black.

"Jake, I do want to be with you but I want it to be special. Not just a quick fuck in a limpsy hotel when we are both half drunk. I thought you wanted more from me than sex. If thats all you brought me here for, than im sorry jake im leaving." i tried to fight back the tears that were starting to well up on my eyes. I walked past him about to leave when I felt him pull me back by my shoulder, in an agonizing stength. I stubled and fell on my knees. I looked up slowly. Jake was glaring down at me. The phrase 'if looks could kill' ran through my mind and I tensed. Jake spoke slowly, venom in each silybol he spoke.

"Listen to me Bella," he spat my name, while gripping my shoulder and pulling me up, "you are not leaving this place until you are **MINE**. Get it, **MINE**! I dont care if you wanted your first time to be special, I am going to mark you. Mark you so you know to who you belong. You think you can do better than me? .WRONG!" I just stared back at him scared and shaking fear. Who is this person? This could not possibly be who I feel in love with two two years ago. That sweet innocent boy that made me laugh and was my shoulder to cry on. This was a totally different person, a careless, greedy beast. Jake looked at me for a second then his eyes started raking my body his eyes stopping at my breasts. He looked up at me, a wicked smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. An evil glint in his amused eyes.

"What are you hiding under that pretty shirt of yours Bella? May I take a look?" humor danced around his eyes as he pushed me on the bed crawling towards me. I finally started to panic and i pushed myself till my back hit the headboard.

"Jake-please-don't." all I could do was plead, tears were streaming down my face. I wanted to scream, run and get away. But there was a tight knot in my throte. Making it almost even imposseble to breath. Jake's face twisted with anger and something esle. Something sinistral.

"I gave you an option Isabella! But you were stupid enough to deny me, but im still gonna have you." his hand reached towards my chest and my hand immidietly slap his hand away and I was about to jump off and run, but he caught my wrist and slammed me back on the bed. Jake laughed as he gripped my hands in one of his and brought them above my head. My eyesight was hazzy and unclear from all the crying.

"Trying to get away from me Bella? I'm hurt." he faked a sad face and then ripped of my shirt. I yelled but it was muffled when he put his hand over my mouth. His black eyes were piercing as he looked at me

"You better shut up Bella or I'm going to do the same thing to your beloved sister, Alice." I froze and shut my eyes. **NO**! Not Alice! There was no way That I would let someone hurt my sister. I could of sworn i felt Jake smile in triumph.

"Thats what I thought." Jake then tore of my bra, and i shivered as I felt the cold air hit my chest. I opened my eyes and saw Jake lower his head to my chest. His touge flicked over my nipples, then took one of them in his mouth and bit. Bit so hard I was affraid there would be blood. I sobbed and jerked my legs, but it was usless. Jake looked up at me.

"Are you likeing this Bella? You taste so damn good baby, and your_ ALL MINE_!" he growled the last part as his attention moved to my shorts undoing them and pulling them off. All with one hand the other one was still gripping my hands above my head in a death grip. I just cried more as his fingers went to my panties and slipped under the thin material and entered three fingers in me. I shook in pain as he started pulling his fingers in and out of me, painfully fast. The more I tried to kick,  
>the more he seemed to get tured on and went faster and faster.<p>

"This is certainly your first time you are never going to forget, right baby?" Jake taunted. I closed my eyes and tried not to feel. Feel the pain. I felt him take out his fingers then heard the snapping of what I think was a belt. My eyes shot open and my heart dropped to my stomach as I saw him pull down his pants and his boxers.

"Im going to take you on a little ride baby, you just enjoy." Jake smiled wickedly. I closed my eyes tightly and gasped in sheer pain as he shoved himself in me. I felt something hot seep from me and It smelt like rust and salt. Blood. Then I blacked out.

Authours note

HAHAHA! Im evil right, dont worry the next chapter will be up maybe in a week or sooner depending on my mood and the amount of reviews I get (review, Review, REVIEW!) remember the review botton is ur BFF :D


	2. The Awakening

Fearsome Past

Chapter 2

The Awakening

There is another sky,  
>Ever serene and fair,<br>And there is another sunshine,  
>Though it be darkness there;<br>Never mind faded forests, Austin,  
>Never mind silent fields -<br>Here is a little forest,  
>Whose leaf is ever green;<br>Here is a brighter garden,  
>Where not a frost has been;<br>In its unfading flowers I hear the bright bee hum:  
>Prithee, my brother,<br>Into my garden come!  
>~Emily Dickson~<p>

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Disclimer I don't own twilight or any of the characters used except Avril Cullen that will be presented in later chapters, Stephenie Meyer owns the rest Enjoy. Thanks for the reviews! :D

A light knock on my door brought me back from my reverie. I looked up and noticed I was still standing in the middle of my living room. I shook my head and sighed. I walked over to my door and I cracked a smile when I saw my pixie-like sister, Alice. And my big burly brother, Emmett.

"Hey shortie!" I laughed at what Emmett called me and gave him a hug. He responded by giving me a bone crushing hug, lifting me about 1 feet in the air.

"Emmett-can't breath..." I half chuckled and half chocked. His booming laugh erupted as he set me down. I looked over at him,

"I thought Alice was the short one." he shrugged and I smiled.

"HELLO! Im right here you guys." Alice whined. I snickered and hugged her. Her spikey hair scrapping lightly against my cheek.

"So whats up you guys?" I asked motioning them inside.

"What, can't we just come and visit our lil sis?" Emmett asked . I turned towards him and raised an eyebrow. He just chuckled as he sat on my couch. I shut the door and looked over at Alice. She giggled, as she skipped her way towards my couch. REALLY! If we are sisters aren't we suppose to be a little a like I mean she was so graceful and elegent with her steps while i never managed to walk on a straight surface without tripping and hurting myself and or anyone around me.

"We got invited to a little party type thing one of Emmett's friends is having and we wanted to ask you if you wanted to come. So do you?" Alice asked a little hyped up. I sighed at and looked at both of them.

"Really, im not even dressed for a party." Alice got up and walked over to me.

"Come on Bella, really this isn't a fancy party I mean look at Emmett, he isn't even dressed properly." I laughed and looked over at Emmett. He was faking a little kid pout. I nooded and started to but my sneakers on. As we exited my apartment and I looked the door with my key, I suddenly remembered that a party was what caused my pain four years ago. I tensed and halted to a stop. Alice noticed and came back a serious look on her yes.

"Bella are you alright? We don't have to go if you don't want to-" I cut her off.

"No Alice it's fine I wanna go." I managed to smile that slightest bit. Emmett put his hand on my shoulder and spoke.

"We'll be there sis don't worry its not even a big party and if someone hurts you the slightest bit, just tell me and I'll kick his ass to China." I could tell he meant what he said by the look in his face but I still laughed.

"Thanks guys I love you so much." As we made our way down to the front lobby I relaxed a little bit as I waved goodbye to the loddy attendent, Angela. She was really nice we would have conversations from time to time. We got on Emmett's huge jeep and we started driving away. Alice turned on the stereo and the song What The Hell by Avril Lavigne started playing.

~What the Hell~

Avril Lavigne

You say that I'm messing with your head

All cause I was making out with your friend

Love hurts whether it's right or wrong

I can't stop, cause I'm having to much fun

I chuckled as Alice started singing along. I couldn't help but start to sing along with her too. Emmett just looked at us, as if we grew two heads.

You're on your knees,

begging please

Stay with me

But honestly I just need to be a little crazy

All my life I've been good but now

I'm thinking 'What the hell'  
>All I want is to mess around<p>

And I don't really care about

If you love me, if you hate me

You can't save me baby, baby

All my life i've been good but now

Woah, 'What the hell'!

I saw Emmett shake his head and then he started moking us in a terrible girl voice, that just made me laugh and sing louder.

What?  
>What?<br>What?  
>What the hell?<p>

So what if I go out on a million dates

You never called or listened to me anyways

I rather rage than sit around and wait all day

Don't get me wrong, I just need some time to play

You're on your knees

begging please

stay with me

but honestly I just need to be a little crazy

All my life I've been good but now

I'm thinking 'what the hell'  
>All I want is to mess around<p>

And I don't really care about

If you love me, if you hate me

You can't save me baby, baby

All my life I've been good but now

Woah, what the hell!

The song wasn't over yet but the stereo got turned off. I looked up at Emmett and he smirked at me and Alice.

"Come on singers, we're here." I looked out my window and saw that we were at the biggest and fanciest building ever. It looked even more espensive than mine. We stepped out of Emmetts jeep and started walking towards the entrance. Once inside we walked past a lobby attendent that looked a strand of her unatural blond hair and smiled a little too friendly at Emmett. I start snickering along with Alice.

"So Emmett, why didn't you tell me you had a girly friend?" I teased. I saw Emmett shudder.

"shut up she is just a freak that keeps annoying me and calling me emmie bear whenever she sees me." Both me and Alice laugh as we enter an elevator with Emmett glaring at us. He presses the button to go to the 40th floor, then we step out of the elevator and walk over to a cream colored door with a fancy 409 on the door. Alive knocks on the door and we are greeted by a tall blond who could possibly be a swimsuite model with a teal colored dress. It was midthigh and sleevless with a few flowers at the bottom of the dress. All of that was topped off with silver heels and a little siver necklace with a heart,  
>almost similar to mine. I immidiatlly felt under dresses in my simple grey abercombrie and fitch shirt with jeans and red converse. Even her hair was picked up in a nest bun, and her light blue eye shadow made her blue eyes shine. Her eyes seemed to twinkle more as saw Emmett.<p>

"Hi Rosie." Emmett greetes hugging the blond tightly. He turned facing me. "I would like you to meet my baby sis, Bella.  
>Bella, Rosalie." I smiled and extanded my hand.<p>

"Nice to meet you Rosalie." She smiled warmly and shook my hand.

"Call me Rose. Well lets go in and have fun." she smiled. Before me or Alice went inside I grabbed her arm and hissed under my breath,

"I thought you said this wasnt a fancy party." she looked at me innocently and shrugged. I groaned and went inside, and gasped. The inside of the complex was surprisenly large with stairs that lead to a second floor. All the walls were a honey color and the hardwood floor was a light brown and there was a big black colored couch. There was also two smaller sofas and under that was an golden brown carpet. There was a huge plasma tv and a stero untop of brown furniture. The windows were really big giving off a beautiful view of Seattle. Alice pulled me out of my trance by pulling me toward a tall man with honey colored hair, he wasn't overly built but he wasn't incredibly lean.

"Bella this is Jasper, Jasper my sister Bella." I shook hands with Jasper and looked at him seriously.

"You better treat my sis like a little pixie princess got is jazz, otherwise you are going to meet Bella Swan." He chuckled and look down at Alice, eyes glowing.

"I promise." I laughed and left them alone as I sat on a couch. Rosalie was sitting on Emmets lap as he wispered something in her ear and she giggled. Alice was looking at Jasper with loving eyes. Love. Thats what my brother and sister felt. Even I could see it. I was in my little world until an attractive voice interupted me.

"Emmett, Alice! You guys made it." I looked up and my breath got caught in my throat. The hottest guy I have ever seen in the world stod before me. Like a greek god. The picture of perfection. Untidy messy hair, a strange red brown color. Almost copper. Strong facial features, perfect straight nose. Pink plum full lips, strong defined jaw. Muscular biceps, not as big as my brother's but just enough to be perfect. Lean perfect hips and jade green eyes. I then relized i was staring longer than necessary and I looked down blushing.

"'Course Ed how could we not come to your surprise party." Emmett chuckled getting up to high five, who I guess was Ed. "This is my sister Bella. Bella, Eddie Cullen." The greek god looked over at me and I felt my knees go weak. He smiled a cute crooked smile and extand his hand.

"Call me Edward and nice to meet you Bella." Edward. The hottest name ever. I attemted to smile and shook his hand. I gasped silently as a felt sparks when our hands touched. Our hands we connected longer than neccesary until someone next to us cleared their throat. Oops. I forgot my brother was there. I blushed and let go of Edwards hand. I heard him chuckle and my brother snicker. I saw Emmett pat Edward's shoulder then turn to wink at me. I just blushed harder. "Want something to drink Bella?" greek god asked. I probablly looked like an idiot just staring at him. I could of even sworn I was drooling.

"Umm, yeah t-that'd be fine." GOD! I can't even talk right! He probably thinks im mentally retarted. He smiled and led me to his kitchen. I was finally able to take in his outfit. I was relived to see that it was almost as plain as mine. I smiled as I saw he was also wearing an abercombie and fitch shirt that hugged his torso nicely and showed his abs, along with jeans and black converse. How convinient.

"What would you like?" I tensed. No matter how hot he was I didnt want to drink at a party of a guy I just met. No matter if my brother and sister were here, so I asked for the first thing that came to mind.

"Can I just have a coke?" he smiled and nooded. Reaching down to get the bottle from his fridge I couldn'd help but look at his butt. BELLA! This is so not like you! I blushed as he also got two cups and poured the soda in them. When he handed me my glass he looked at me curiously. I blushed even more.

"Everything alright Bella?" he asked, smiling.

"Yeah. Everything cool." stupid blush. "So um, what brought up the celebration thing? I really never asked. Sorry to just come uninvited."

"I actually didn't know anything about this, Alice and Rose planned it cause I just came back from Chicago. Also don't worry I didn't mind at all you coming." he smirked as he said the last part. I smiled and sipped my drink. I turned and saw Alice and Emmett both staring at me. Alice smirked before turning her attention back to Jasper and Emmett winked and did a double thumbs up at me. My eyes widened and I glared at him. He laughed and looked away. I sighed and drank from my drink again. I looked at Edward again and saw him staring at me. I became self-concence but I couldn't look away from his hypnotic green gaze. My heart begin to pound in my chest as he reached his hand and moved a starnd of my hair, his fingertip tightly brushing against my nose as he did that. I was finally able to tear my gaze away from his as I looked down blushing ten shades of red.

"Bella may I ask you something?" he asked sincerlly. I looked up and faintly nooded. He seemed to think of what to say for a Few seconds. "Do you have a boyfriend?" what?

"What?" my voice cracked. That was not a question I was expecting. He smiled slightly and sighed.

"Are you with someone or are you single. Um, you don't have to answere if you don't want to. Sorry i shouldn't of asked." he shook his head looking at his hands. A faint pink started spreading over his cheeks. How cute.

"Um no. Im not with anyone," I paused breathing in sharply. "I guess I haven't found the right person yet. How 'bout you. Do you have a girlfriend." I asked casually sipping the rest of my drink.

"No, my last girlfriend cheated on me so yeah." he looked sad. I suddenlly had the urge to comfort him. Who could possibly have been the idiot who hurt this man. I was starting to feel anger boiling inside of me. I would like to meet the little slut who did. Weird, im not really one for violence.

"I'm sorry." really Bella? Smooth. I can't belive thats all that came to me. He shrugged and looked up at me, his eyes soft. I felt my heart melt. We continued to talk about other random things until Emmett came up and said we should get going.

"Come on Bells, it's already 1:20. We should let little Eddie boy get some sleep." Edward sighed in annoyence.

"Emmett. Don't call me that." Emmett laughed and started walking towards the door, pecking rose on the lips and wispering goodbye before opening the door. I turned to face Edward about to say goodbye, but was surprised when he pulled me into a hug. I eagerly returned the hug and blushed once we let go. I said a final goodbye until Alice pulled me towards the door by my arm.

"Bye Edward!" she called out before closing the door. We walked in silence on our way to the jeep, with me smiling like a fool all the way. Once inside the comfort of the jeep I let my mind wonder freely, leaning my head against the window. I heard Alice clear her throat and I looked up at her.

"So Bella, did you like Edward?"

"Yeah he was really nice." I saw Alice smirk and Emmett snicker. My smile faded and I glared at them. "Alice really you know what I mean, I don't like him **THAT** way."

"Sure... but it's not up to me to decide." I huffed and annoyence and looked back outside my window. Was it true? Did I have a stupid little crush on Edward like a teenager? Whatever, I promised myself that I would never let anyone back in my life. And that is how it is going to stay. Once we reached my building I waved goodbye to them and went inside, ignoring the 'goodnight' from Angela. I marched up strait to my door and walked inside. I threw my keys on the table and grabbed my Ipod from the counter. Putting the earplugs on I turned up the intire volume until me ears hurt and laid on the couch and I relized that there was a new feeling in me. A feeling I thought I lost four years ago. Edwards had awakened a new feeling in me. Desire. I desiered him in every way. I wanted him. A new me has been awakened. I soon went fast asleep. That was the first time I dreamt with Edward Cullen.

Authors note So what do you think? Do you love, hate, like it? Tell me pleez pleez pleez! I'll update as soon as I can :) I hope you liked!

PEACE OUT!  
>~littlemisscullen2311~<p> 


	3. The Dream

Fearsome Past

Chapter 3 The Dream

~.~.~.~.~.~

I would liken you To a night

without stars Were it not for your eyes.  
>I would liken you To a sleep<p>

without dreams Were it not for your songs.

~Langston Hughes~

Disclimer I don't own twilight or any of the characters except Avril Cullen that will be introduced in later chapters. Thanks for all the awesome reveiws.

I panted heavily as I feel _HIS_ hands going under my shirt grazing at the skin under my breasts. I hear Edward groan as I intwine my hands is his hair and tug. His hair between my fingers is so soft, as soft as silk.

"You have too much cloths on baby. This needs to go off." Edwards voice sounded strained as he removed my shirt. His eyes raking over me chest. He leans his head in and bite my nipples softly through the thin material of me bra. I moaned and threw my head back.

"Edwarrrd! Mmm." I moan out loudly as a feel his unclasp my bra and capture a tight bud in his mouth. Caressing my nipple with tounge. His right hand was kneading my other breast, pinching lightly and rolling it between his delicate skilled fingers. I was extreamly sensitive and I felt like I was about to explode and he hasn't even comepletely touched me yet. I pull him back to me kisssing him hungerly. I moan in his mouth as I feel him thrust his hips up to my sensitive core. He hisses in pleasure as I reach my hand between out hips and stroke him through the thin layer of denim.

"Off." I commend as I start to pull at his shirt. He inches backward and pulls it off throwing it somewhere behind us. I stare at his perfect toned chest. I lean forward and flick my tounge out and lick his nipple. I felt the muscels in his body tense and hear him grunt. He picked me up and I wraped my legs tighly around his waist. My hands go to his neck and I pull him to me. Our tounges fighting for domince. He opens the door to my room with his foot and we walks in. He gently lays me in the middle of my queen sized bed. He crawls his way over towards me and hovers above me.

"I need you so much baby, please tell me you want me too." I hear Edward wisper against my ear. His breath fanning out against my neck. I shiver in pleasure. This is just too much yet not enough. I need more, more of him. I stare deeply in his emerold orbs. Hooded with lust and desire.

"Yes, i need you so badly too Edward. Please." I gasp loudly as I feel him pull down my jeans and start rubbing my pussy through my thin panties. "Ugh, ed-edward p-please i need, you..." I was speachless and withering under his tough by the time he had removed my panties and started to plant kisses on my lower breath caught in my throat as he shoved his tongue in me and started to rub my clit with his thumb. I choked on my breath and hooked my legs around his head, locking him to me.

"You taste heavenly,Bella." he growls my name as he replaces his tongue with his finger and starts pulling them in and out of me. His tongue starts to circle my clit before lightly bitting me and with that I am done for. I scream out his name as I roll out in waves of pleasure one stronger after the other one. I grab his tousled hair for dear life and pant like crazy. Edward chuckles lightly and the vibrations make me shiver. I bring Edward upward and attack him with passion filled kisses. I hum into Edward's mouth and move my hands down to his jeans. I fumble with the buttons and the zipper as I growl in annoyence whe i can't get them off. Edward laughs and pulls them down. I lick my lips as I stare at his long, hard manhood. Edward lines himself up at my entrance and pushes in slowly.  
>o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o<p>

Hahaha im evil right im sooooooo sorry this took forever but I was caught up in school and plus all my files on this story got earased. hope you liked review review and pleaze dont hate me. LUV YA!  
>~littlemisscullen2311 peace out~<p> 


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